I finally got round to writing this 
Me, Dad and Abi went down on the 12th and stayed with Dad’s friend Josie, who’d found out I want to do medicine and uni and then do research and since that’s what she did for 30 years that was the main topic of conversation, not the most interesting thing in the world. And then we had to go for a big walk along the Forth (me and Abi got bored so we started singing). And then finally it was comedy time. Yay. We got to the Assembly @ George Street, went to get drinks and then were told that the queue for Mark Watson was outside. So we went outside and walked all the way down the street and round the corner and down the street a bit more to find the end. We weren’t there too long though and we ended up with ok-ish seats, in the bottom section at least. Mark Watson appeared on stage after a bit but I didn’t actually notice him walk on due to the fact he was wearing a red tshirt and blended in with all the Assembly staff, but he wasn’t really on stage yet anyway and was just coming to warm the crowd up again since the announcement telling us to switch of our phones had ruined it. So after getting very sidetracked, 20 minutes later he “hid” behind the curtain and after popping back out about 10 times to point out he wasn’t really hiding and that you should never tell someone you’re about to hide since it’s a pretty big give away he finally announced himself and came on properly to start the show. Since we’d wasted so much time he appointed a timekeeper in the front row who turned out to be called Maldwyn (prompting many jokes on the basis that he was an entirely fictional person – “He made up his name, he can make up the time”), made even better by the fact Mark had just told us he wouldn’t pick on anyone. It didn’t last long. He also gave a girl in the front row a plastic bottle to hit if she thought something was funny but didn’t get a laugh. The girl turned out to be Sarah K from Angry (Feet) but I didn’t get a chance to say hi at the end. 
Mark was very good though and the bottle didn’t need to be used once (although that could be because Sarah didn’t really want to), I’d heard most of the jokes before but enough was improvised and the one’s I’d already heard were still good anyway.
After Mark Watson finished we ran away outside again, only pausing to wave at my friend Alex’s little sister in the queue, and got back in the stupidly long queue for Adam Hills. We were actually further ahead in the queue but ended up in the second row of the second tier of seats which meant I had to keep bobbing from side to side to see Adam. It was a slightly more conventional start than Mark’s show but only just. But since when as Adam Hills ever been conventional anyway? He came into the audience because someone had given him a pint because they “knew they’d be late” and he wanted to make sure it didn’t belong to anyone and he started speaking to one girl and a guy from the other end of the room wolf-whistled, it turned out that he knew her but it was a long story how. So Adam Hills went and stood on the seat next to her and interrogated her how (it was from a sports club) and realised that about half the audience seemed to know Mike (the wolf-whistler). In the process of all this Adam nearly gave a Glaswegian a lapdance and then refused to believe he was Glaswegian when he said “oh, it’s quite alright”, and made friends with an 80-year-old woman called Iris. It turned out Iris turned 80 a few days ago and this was her birthday celebration so Adam ended up giving her a lapdance. Finally, (about 20 minutes later, noticing a pattern?) he started the show properly which was brilliant and ended up being truly lovely at the end. And then he downed the entire pint. We didn’t get a chance to wait to meet him either since we needed to go on a very fun walk back to Josie’s flat, in the pitch black down a number of little paths next to random streams and stuff. And with the worst timing ever I remembered the stories from a couple of Christmases ago when two different dead bodies were found on different paths in Edinburgh. Scary stuff.
We drove back up to Meldrum the next day (after the best shopping trip ever, Dad gave me £20 and in about 15 minutes I’d managed to buy 3 books and a skirt with it) but only for a few days since me, Mum and Abi were going back for the weekend.
I’ll finish this later. It’s really long as it it.
